When you talk about an iconic nude community-focused porn website, Newbie Nudes has been one of the top ones since, like, fuckin’ forever. Literally…
Man, I used to watch the amateur content on this site as a teen but, no exaggeration to my masturbation, but damn, how times have changed a lot! The content used to be ‘hotter’ from what I can remember.
What happened here now?
This review will show you what I think about the infamous Newbie Nudes!
Newbie Nudes Review: Pros
Does not spam your email address even though you are required to give it
Most entertaining porn site with plenty of interactive things to do
Daily uploads keeping you entertained all day
Newbie Nudes Review: Cons
Lock on the homepage prompting you to sign up before gaining access to the site
Premium membership not worth it
Men like to flash their dick pics all over the site even when trying to look for girls
My Newbie Nudes Review: The World’s Best Amateur Nude Community
My boss will kick my ass six ways till Sunday right now if he knew I was using ABSOLUTE phrases in his articles.
Hey, jefe! It ain’t me! It’s them!
NewbieNudes.com are the ones who claimed the “best amateur nude community” title. It’s on the homepage!
Now, I have one legitimate question, though, through all of this. How can a homemade porn site even make that claim when you cannot even bypass the first page when visiting the site.
There is some type of screen lock enabled that you cannot bypass unless you do the following:
Volunteer your email
Create a username
Create a password
Click the activation link
And you need to complete the steps in that order before the purple and white gate opens. So, in my opinion, Newbie Nudes loses that title by making a motherfucker sign up for the site before seeing ANYTHING!
Containing content under lock and key only means one of two things to me:
Amateur content on this amateur porn site is super exclusive (you can’t find it anywhere else and they don’t want any randoms stealing any photos and videos)
Amateur content ain’t shit and they try to make it look super exclusive just to take your money
Let’s see which is applicable in this situation.
But I have to first say this: it feels refreshing visiting an old friend, but that lock screen makes me not even wanna talk to the bitch again.
#Straightfacts
Newbie Nudes Review: Tags Tags and More Tags
This site probably has the most tabs on top of the page I’ve ever seen.
It seems like you will never get bored surfing through all this unrestricted amateur content, which is a huge plus in my book. I didn’t remember it being so many pictures and vids.
You will see everything:
Premium cams
Videos
People (List of profiles)
Chat
Friends
Blog
Gift
Auction
Testimonials
Hold up!
A porn site with Testimonials? Never saw that before.
That’s a red flag indicating something’s fishy going on.
My philosophy is that if a motherfucker has to advertise their services, that’s not the motherfucker you want to get in bed with.
Case in point: my car note.
The car salesman was advertising himself and the vehicle without giving me the price until the end of the transaction. After I signed all the paperwork, I realized I was stuck with an $800 note for a Toyota Sienna minivan in 2022.
Yep, a fuckin’ fool. I’m wearing a whole clown mask over here with my bozo ass.
Man, similarly, Newbie Nudes seems more like Etsy or a Bluechew male enhancement website.
Dude, like, what are you selling?
Oh yeah, that’s right; a premium membership.
Well, let’s check it out!
NewbieNudes Review: Premium Membership vs Free Membership
This homepage porn site boasts 3.9 million photos without or without the premium membership, so you will probably never get bored surfing through the massive collection of amateur porn pics.
On the flip side, there are only approximately 200,000 HD quality videos, which is not good compared to the photo galleries.
Come to think about it, during my heyday of jacking off to this site, I would jack off to the JPEG images all day and don’t think videos were part of my regiment.
So that explains why there is a large community of photos not videos.
Photos are the main drawing point.
Is Newbie Nudes Legit?
Let’s evaluate if paying for these benefits is worth getting a premium subscription.
LARGE PICS at 560x420. This benefit is huge for a porn scientist to analyze the microscopic parts of the pussy easier in full-screen. Honestly, the average sized pics are enough - not worth it.
Access to the Real Amateur Submitted Videos. However, again, there are only about 200,000 videos and the content is regular shit like fat older women masturbating or porn girls twerking for the entire world - not worth it
Live webcams. This one is cool, but the streams you’re watching seem like they are pirated from other members on legit live cam sites like Streammate. I just saw the exact same couple fucking on both sites. - not worth it
I can't list them all, but all the other premium benefits like Notification, Photo Manager, and Content Manager seem suitable for people who are just helpless, pizza-eating, 600-pound life porn addicts.
Regular dudes like myself would probably spend our money elsewhere.
Newbie Nudes Review: Prices
1 month - $19.95
3 months - $49.95
1 year - $149.95
As stated earlier, unless your ass just absolutely love watching photos and videos of genuine people fucking and sucking each other, there is no other reason to pay these high-ass, Biden-inflated prices.
In my To Catch Predator decoy voice, “No way!”
Accepted forms of payment:
Visa/MasterCard
PayPal
Discover
Amex
Bitcoin/Bitcoin Cash
This site has been around since I can remember, and I’ve never heard anything about them stealing or leaking credit card information.
Also, your payment is processed by Shift4 payment processing company, which is always a good sign that a legitimate company is taking care of all the financial business.
Newbie Nudes Review: Chat Room
The chat room is hilarious. I logged in and it seems like any other chat room on the internet to me.
In fact, this chat room seems more suitable for introverts than extroverts because there aren’t many prolific chatters on there, but they are relatively active.
Most are looking for some porn or sexting, if you ask me.
You can add friends and build your list from here.
Newbie Nudes Review: Alternative Sites
NewGalNudes for lesbians
NewTransNudes for transexuals
NewDudeNudes for gay dudes
The general setup of all these sites are similar to NewbieNudes other than that you need to sign up separately. In other words, your NewbieNudes credentials will not gain you access to these alternatives.
