I was expecting this Sacred Sword Princess review would go just like about any other F2P (free 2 play) RPG (role-playing game) reviews.
I’ll play it for a couple of hours and enjoy the whole experience for the most part, then gradually become annoyed with all the “Freemium” and P2W (Pay 2 Win) features it has to offer until, finally, I just drop out of the game entirely and vent my frustrations here.
Suffice it to say that I though Sacred Sword Princesses PC review would just be the same old shit I’ve come to abhor when it comes to F2P games, ESPECIALLY ones that involve 2D fuck-fuck scenes (you don’t mess with a man and his porn).
But after my initial playthrough, I’d have to say that Sacred Sword Princess dodged the fucking bullets that come with the F2P business model. And I’m here to tell you all about why this is one title you shouldn’t pass up.
Sacred Swords and Princesses, Oh My!
Since Sacred Sword Princess is a hentai RPG. You could definitely expect that there would be at least a couple of lewd content spread out across the game. Spoiler alert: it does, and Sacred Sword Princess does this well, but more on that later.
It’s a relatively old game by today’s standards, releasing in 2018 via Valve Entertainment’s Steam platform. So, if you want to have some Sacred Sword Princess, prepare to go through the sort of frustrating process of setting up your Steam account if you don’t have one already, you horny old dog. But you’ll find that it’s worth it once you have everything ready.
Developed by Super Hippo Games, Sacred Sword Princesses is an adults-only RPG set in a fantasy world called Midgardia where your little willy is the “sacred sword” that saves the universe by sticking it in a bunch of anime waifus because, come on, man, this is a porn game. Don’t read too much into it.
Oh, and you also fight monsters or some shit, but I’m guessing you already surmised that.
Sacred Sword Princess Review - Is It Good? Hell Fucking Yes! It’s Not Bad!
Boys and girls, this is probably one of the best F2P RPG games you could fap to, and I’m not overstating things here. It really is good (well, after all the hassle of installing Steam on my PC, it better had been).
But let’s start with all the negatives first. For one, it’s F2P, and I fucking hate F2P games because it’s just another word for “you have to keep paying the developers until you’re bankrupt if you want to win this game”.
Second, since your real-world money has to go somewhere in the game if you’ve gone of the deep end and decided to purchase stuff, it involves a whole lot of gacha elements. Now, gacha is just a Japanese word for collectibles, and in Sacred Sword Princesses, you’re collecting—well—princesses.
And third, since this is an F2P business model Super Hippo Games is working with, expect to fucking grind it out if you don’t want to shell out your real money in-game.
So, there you go: three things that make Sacred Sword Princess kind of trash. But with all its positive qualities, you could overlook these flaws, so hear me out.
It’s Time for War, Bitches!
One of the things I love the most about this game is how it plays less like an RPG and more like an action adventure title. And I say this because instead of your usual turn-based battle system, Sacred Sword Princess opts for an RTS-style combat system (real-time strategy).
As such, battle scenes become more action-packed and exciting, especially when you consider that you’re not just controlling a single “princess” here; you have the option of switching out your characters for more variety.
Add in some eye-popping visuals during these scenes and you have yourselves a banger, kids. And Sacred Sword Princess does just that.
Super Hippo Ain’t Playing
Speaking of visuals, Sacred Sword Princesses uses both 2D animations (for story dialogue scenes and that sweet sex content we all know is the reason you’re reading this review) and actual cel-shaded sprites for the battles.
And they do both RIGHT.
Don’t expect some bullshit chibi-style flash animation sprites up in this bitch—you know, the kind you see on Nutaku’s crap RPG cash-grabs. We’re talking about full 3D animation for the battle scenes done in cel-shading, so the movements of any given character are fluid.
The 2D animation here is top-notch as well, easily topping what other F2P RPG porn games have to offer. The art style Super Hippo’s developers used didn’t veer towards “cute” and, rightfully so, steered the direction towards a really sexy art style.
Additionally, I love the fact that you actually get to visit spots on the world map in this game instead of, you know, these just being links to whatever bullshit the game is trying to sell you using real money. Kudos on that!
And since we’ve talked about the 2D animation of Sacred Sword Princess, I think it’s about time you learned about how all the fantasy deep-dicking plays into this game.
These Princess Are Anything but Sacred!
Unlike other F2P RPGs that treat you like shit, dangling their porn content like a piece of meat you have to go through a bunch of hoops to just to see a couple seconds of, Sacred Sword Princesses is pretty decent, as they opted to use the fuck scenes more liberally. That means more pickle diddling material for you, pervert!
Instead of simply inserting little flash animations as you play through the story, this game makes use of the hentai content to level up your characters. That means you could watch an anime princess get fucked in all the right holes once you have enough experience points, which all depends on how much real money you spend or time you put in playing the actual game.
So, it’s pretty flexible in that regard, and I’m not just talking about these anime ho-bags.
Don’t get me wrong, though: this is still a play to win scheme, but at least it doesn’t make it too obvious that they just want your cash.
One Last Gripe
Perhaps one of my last gripes with this game is the quality of the porn content themselves, which I find pretty lacking.
You’re treated to a mostly static image of some “Moon Goddess of Mani” or some such—in various sex positions depending on which princess you’re trying to stick your sacred sword into— while some dialogue plays onscreen.
If not for the amazing voiceover work done in this game, both in the sex scenes and the actual story, the hentai content would have been pretty disappointing.
Our Nutaku Sacred Sword Princesses Verdict—It’s Pretty Good!
I’d say that in between the high production values featuring quality visuals and audio, and its solid battle system, Sacred Sword Princess is one of the best F2P RPGs out there.
Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s way better than what other developers have tried to come up with. So, I highly recommend you give this one a go if you’re looking for an RPG you could masturbate to.