So, as you could say by the title of this article, this Newgrounds Adult Games review takes me back. In fact, it takes me back a long time that it’s almost scary (God, I’m old). But enough about that: I’m here to tell you everything you need to know about Newgrounds Adult Games.
First off, Newgrounds.com is a site that’s been around for a long-ass time. And I’m not talking about Miley Cyrus old here, folks; I’m talking about Destiny’s Child-era Beyonce Knowles old up in this bitch (there I go again).
Still, it’s a rather pleasant surprise to find out that Newgrounds has been going strong after all these years, and if it has something to offer this old dog right here, then I’m pretty sure you’re going to find stuff that’ll tickle your pickle when you visit the site, young buck. Especially if we’re talking about their adult games section.
Yeah, Newgrounds Ain’t So New
As I’ve mentioned, Newgrounds.com has been around for a hot minute now, and it’s not showing any signs of slowing down. In fact, even if you don’t count their adult games section, you’ll find that this is one of the most well-maintained hubs for animation, flash games, music, and fan art.
And hell, I’d even go so far as to say that you could say goodbye to being a weird, solitary masturbating troll once you encounter the wonders of Newgrounds, because it has one of the most active online communities out there. Now you guys could be masturbating trolls TOGETHER!
Jokes aside, Newgrounds adult games has been around for as long as the site itself, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I’ll tell you more about it as we go one.
These Grounds are Vintage
Given how long its history is, Newgrounds’ adult games section would obviously have a treasure trove of content for you. So, for one, it’s good if—like me—you’re an aging trooper looking to give that willy one last wank before retiring for the night or, say, if you’re a REAL connoisseur highly interested in the history of porn flash games.
If either (or both!) of those is the case, then it’s safe to say that you won’t find a larger library of old-ass porn games in this site dating back to the early noughties.
As such, even if you’re not looking for some 4K HD quality animated fuck scenes, you’ll find that Newgrounds Adult Games has that certain charm that comes from the novelty of its content, which encompass anywhere between dating simulations (like the Meet N Fuck series or Twinkle Revue) to RPG titles like Crimson Keep.
So, for that reason alone, Newgrounds Adult Games is pretty much your best option if you’re looking for something retro.
There’s a Flipside, Though
Since you’re mostly getting retro flash games—some are even so rough and old you’d think it was done by a horny grade schooler—, that means this isn’t exactly the perfect place to get your jollies on. That is, unless you’re into crude animation and early 2000s graphics (hey, to each his own).
So, you can’t expect Newgrounds.com’s adult games collection to exactly be the kind of place where you press buttons while rubbing your bean until it squirts big girl juice. Like I said, they’re more of a novelty, so the experience here is more akin to playing Super Mario Bros. again after a decade than, say, getting impressed with how far CGI boobies have gone.
Simply put, the whole retro theme that Newgrounds has is both its gift and curse. I’m an optimist, though, so I think it’s fun to play some old shit every once in a while.
Something a Bit New
Don’t get me wrong, though: Newgrounds Adult Games isn’t all about old school porn games. It’s just that majority of their content comes from that category. If you look harder—or if you know what to look for—you’ll notice that this site also has a pretty decent amount of modern-era hentai and sex games.
And when Newgrounds goes for “modern”, boy, they go all out. Because it’s on this site that you’ll find some absolute gems from independent developers like Oppai Games and their Love Hotel dating sim. By the way, I highly encourage you to support these indie groups so they could keep making their sinfully delightful content for all of us.
Even with the addition of these more modern offerings on Newgrounds Adult Games, it’s still definitely not enough to shake off the whole vibe the site has. I absolutely have no problem with that, and so should you.
Given how clean Newgrounds Adult Games’ landing page is, you’ll find that it’s very easy to navigate. Not only that, it’s not an eyesore, which is something I value on a porn site.
However, since this homepage is so streamlined, you won’t find any excessive tags or links anywhere on the page. There isn’t even a search bar, and it’s honestly the only noticeable flaw on Newgrounds Adult Games, as it leaves you perverts to scroll each title one by one from their list or simply search for them by category using one of the buttons on the left side of the screen.
Hey, minimalism has its price. It just turns out this one sort of sucks.
The Newgrounds Adult Games Review Verdict—Perfect for Feels
All in all, I’d recommend Newgrounds Adult Games for all its nostalgic feels. With its large library of old-ass porn games and its clean, streamlined interface, this is a legit porn game site.
And with the addition of a few newer titles and series on their site, Newgrounds still holds its own as an up-to-date hub for gaming pervs.
So, would I recommend it for you? Hell yes. Even if you don’t get to spend a whole lot of time on the site, it’s definitely worth a try.
Now, if only they added a goddamn search bar, everything would be perfect…