Have you ever wondered what really went on back in the swinging '70s, during the days of classic porn? Sure you do. We all wish we could have been there. Fucking without consequence. Having random hookups before the days of AIDS, MeToo and COVID-19. Thanks to TheClassicPorn.com, vintage porn is at your fingertips whenever you want it. If you wanna see the raw, gritty stuff of the good 'ol days — in contrast to the stagy, overproduced porn of today — check out the classic porn tube site.
The Tube for Classic Porn Movies
The Classic Porn is an archival tube site for clips of classic porn movies from the '70s, '80s and '90s. If you're a fan of classic porn actresses and movies from that era, this is your place. The moment you land, you'll see a list of porn categories and a tab of vintage pornstars.
The tab is flanked by two of that era's most iconic classic pornstars, Seka, Traci Lords, Sarah Young, and Christy Canyon. What could be more vintage porn than that?
On the pornstars tab, the display defaults to female. There are currently 5434 porn chicks in their database. To narrow your search, choose one of the secondary pull-down filters: country, birth year, debut year, hair color, height, astrology (?), piercing, tattoo, first letter, etc.
Of course, it's hard not to scroll the moment you hit the site. The first star to show as I write this porn review is Brigitte Lahaie. She's a French adult actress who was active from 1977 to 1998. I'd never heard of her before, but I'd like to learn.
Heck, there are lots of actresses on the first page of this directory whose films I'd like to see: Desiree Cousteau (a round-breasted Adrienne Barbeau lookalike), Julia Perrin (a demure French lady), Hyapatia Lee, Deborah Wells, Domonique Simone, Isis Nile... I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
TheClassicPorn Top Pornstars, Clips
The site lists its top pornstars based on the total number of video views for each actress. Lahaie is number one, followed by Christy Canyon, Kay Parker, Annette Haven, Traci Lords, and Nina Hartley. I'd never heard of their fourth-place star, Haven, before coming here to write this review. Shows you how much I've yet to learn about classic porn.
The high score for '80s lying Lolita Traci Lords (born in 1968), while not surprising, is ironic. TheClassicPorn has only one of her flicks, made in 1987. The rest of her blue pics are illegal to show or distribute because she shot them before she reached 18 years of age.
Click on any actress's name and you'll see just how resourceful this site can be. Just now, I'm clicking on Kay Parker. I've heard of her, but don't know much about her. Her bio page on TheClassicPorn lists her birthdate, birthplace, aliases, measurements, distinguishing features, and other basic info. Click "read more" for a big yet succinct blurb on her porn career.
Each bio page has five tabs: about (default), filmography, photos, comments, and share. You can rate each star with a thumbs up or thumbs down. If you sign up, you can heart your favorite starlets. By doing so, you'll have them filed in your favorites folder.
When you click on the filmography tab, you'll see a list of films that the actress has starred in. The Kay Parker list has 91 titles. I'm not sure that accounts for everything she appeared in, but her bio states that she "starred in over 50 films," so it seems good enough.
If a film is uploaded, in full or in part, to TheClassicPorn, it has a bold, blue link in the filmography sections. If a film is not on the site, it's listing is grey.
Some of the films uploaded to this site lack information. After I click on one Kay Parker movie, I see another film in the recommended row called
Slurp It Up. It doesn't list the two stars but it's classic '70s sleaze, mustaches and all.
TheClassicPorn.com Review
Some of these clips have the old Fantasy Home Video bumper. It's like reliving the days of VHS, if you date that far back in time. Heck, a lot of these videos are probably sourced from '80s-era VHS and Betamax video cassettes.
Vintage porn yields many novelties. You may remember actress Angelique Pettyjohn from the 1968 Star Trek episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion." Did you know that she also did some hardcore flicks during the early '80s? She performed as Heaven St. John and you can find some examples on this site.
Believe it or not, they have some porn clips from the mid-1960s. It's hard to imagine people doing this sort of thing on camera that early, but flicks like
Inseraten-Report and
Hot Skin, Cold Cash (both 1965) prove otherwise. This, bear in mind, was an era where TV couples had to sleep in separate beds.
The stuff I like most about The Classic Porn is the actress directory, which lets me browse stars by hair color, decade and various other defining features.
In the course of writing this review, I've found a few new retro crushes. I do intend to watch some sexvids with Marilyn Jess, Dominique Saint Claire, and Uschi Karnat in the weeks ahead. Other old stars, like Aunt Peg, are fascinating people.
The action in some of these films makes me yearn to go back in time to the '70s. We may never see such raw abandon ever again.
Another great feature is the organization. Unlike so many other porn tubes, where videos are uploaded and miss-titled by site users, the content here is properly identified. On TheClassicPorn, you won't have to play any guessing games about the sources of your favorite scenes.
Of course, you’ll get the bum moment now and then. In some of these clips, the direction is cringy in hindsight. Speaking as a straight man, I don't care to see 10-second closeups of a man's facial contortions while he's getting blown. And I don't want to see magnification's of some dude's tongue, mustache or none, licking a chick's anus.
Today's porn directors know better. I guess they were just feeling it out in the '70s and '80s.
One video that makes some of these mistakes is the ingeniously titled
Blowing the Whistle, which happens to be one of the top-trending videos as I write this review. It's a 1987 sex romp starring Amber Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, Peter North, and Hershel Savage, among others.
It was directed by John T. Bone. (
Whistle...
Bone... god, these people were clever.) I liked the cover photo (a close-up, eye-contact POV blowjob) better than the movie.
TheClassicPorn Premium
If you browse for free clips on TheClassicPorn, you'll encounter one of two things: short clips culled from larger movies or partially skimmed feature-lengths. Films in the second category are fast-forwarded in many spots.
When you click on a fast-forwarded upload, you'll see a moment of action followed by a fast, choppy jump-cut section. That's how they reduce 90-minute movies to 10 minutes for freeloaders.
The way around this is to purchase a premium membership on TheClassicPorn.com. As a premium member, you'll get to:
- Watch XXX movies all the way through
- Choose from 4924 porn DVD uploads
- Vote on your favorite stars
- Get daily updates
- Download option
If you want to try before you buy a membership, $1 will get you full access to the site for a single day. Once you see all the great classic porn in its uninterrupted glory, you can then upgrade to a premium membership at one of the following rates:
- $34.95 = 30 days access
- $59.95 = 90 days access
You can join via Vendo or SegPay. For a limited time, TheClassicPorn is also offering a fourth option for SegPay users: monthly membership for $8.32. You billing statement will read SEGPAYEU.COM - AFS Media LTD. CY. All rights reserved.
Whatever you spend on membership, you'll get back in entertainment value. You'll also save money that you'd otherwise spend chasing down rare DVDs of classic porn titles on eBay.
If you love classic porn, it really is worth getting a premium membership. A lot of the titles offered here cannot be found on any other porn site. As a vintage porn specialty tube, I give TheClassicPorn an overall score of 10.
